United States

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Welcome to America

The United States is the most powerful nation on earth. We've got the most bombs, the largest national debt and the ability to turn any third-world struggle into a profit. Where else can you make enough money each year to feed a starving nation, but get totally pissed that your buddy Chaz can have a new Porche and you're stuck with a Hyundae.

So who lives in America?

There are three essential types of americans

  • The Confused - These types have never believed strongly in anything. When it comes to work, they do what makes a steady paycheck. When it comes to politics, they support whoever is the smoothest talker and know a bullet point or two about their policy. The Confused don't usually like their jobs because they never found their own niche in life. They compensate for this by buying things, deciding they don't like them and buying other things. When the ties come off, watch out.

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

  • The Zealots - Zealots have a cause and just know that everyone needs to take it up too. Whether it's not eating chickens out of a certain type cage, destroying free trade or getting you sued for using certain words in the workplace, the Zealots know they are right and if you're not with them, you're against them.

Hey there's a liberal. Get him!

  • The Apathetic - These folks are just like the Confused, only they smoked too much pot and never got a decent job. They generally blame the system for all their problems and are content to let the time - and the joints - pass freely.

ZzzzZzz. Damn Yankees. ZzzZZz