Gentlemen prefer bonds.
Before you invest, investigate.
Never invest in anything that eats or needs repainting.
The stock market has forecast nine of the last five recessions.
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'
I never attempt to make money on the stock market. I buy on the assumption that they could close the market the next day and not reopen it for five years.
If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice.
I made my money by selling too soon. -Bernard Baruch
I asked my broker what stock I should buy. Broker "The XYZ company at $1/share I bought 2,000 shares The next day I called and asked him what looked good Broker "The XYZ company - they are at $2/share" I bought another 2,000 shares The next day my broker called... told me XYZ was at $4/share and asked if I wanted another 2,000 shares. "No, I've made enough on this stock. Sell my 4,000 shares." Broker "To who?"
He who sells what isn't his'n, must buy it back or go to prison. -J.P. Morgan
If you are going to panic, panic early. -Jim Brady
Big Rock Candy Mountains - An American Folk Classic
One evening as the sun went down and the jungle fire was burning Down the track came a hobo hiking and he said boys I'm not turning I'm headin for a land that's far away beside the crystal fountains So come with me we'll go and see the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains there's a land that's fair and bright Where the handouts grow on bushes and you sleep out every night Where the boxcars are all empty and the sun shines every day On the birds and the bees and the cigarette trees Where the lemonade springs where the bluebird sings In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains all the cops have wooden legs And the bulldogs all have rubber teeth and the hens lay soft boiled eggs The farmer's trees are full of fruit and the barns are full of hay Oh, I'm bound to go where there ain't no snow Where the rain don't fall and the wind don't blow In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains you never change your socks And the little streams of alcohol come a-trickling down the rocks The brakemen have to tip their hats and the railroad bulls are blind There's a lake of stew and of whiskey too You can paddle all around 'em in a big canoe In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains the jails are made of tin And you can walk right out again as soon as you are in There ain't no short handled shovels, no axes saws or picks I'm a goin to stay where you sleep all day Where they hung the jerk that invented work In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
I'll see you all this coming fall in the Big Rock Candy Mountains